We constantly aim to elevate the amateur way of traveling – this trip is no exception. We set off from Nuremberg to Frankfurt on the train. We did not want to chance getting stuck in traffic or a snow storm or getting stressed about getting there on time. We would arrive in Frankfurt with 2.5 hours to spare – according to plan. We knew we would be a few minutes late because of rail construction but we did not care. This time we checked with the conductor to make sure we are ready to disembark when the train stops. At the main train station we realized that our train tickets were only good to the main station and not the airport which is on the next stop. Since it was too late to get off we decided to chance the 8 min trip, after all the ticket price is the same no matter which station you get off on.

Finally we got to the airport terminal at 6:30 pm with a bit over 2 hours to spare. Now, it was time to figure out if we are flying out of Terminal 1 or 2. The Frankfurt Airport is huge so it is good to know which way to go. I scanned the tickets to figure out which of the two pedways to take. Having no luck with the computer we asked for directions. A rather puzzled and quizzical information agent looked at us, looked at the tickets, looked at us again and pronounced you are at the WRONG AIRPORT, but worry not there is a shuttle that will take you to Frankfurt Hahn. With OMG look on our faces we got on the shuttle bus to Terminal 2 to catch the shuttle to the other airport. Needless to say the shuttle to the other airport was at the far end of the mile long hallway. We found the shuttle stop with a bunch of people waiting – good news we thought as the shuttle goes between airports 12 times a day. It is now 6:52 pm and we have 1 hour and 22 min before we need to board. This being a Saturday, the last shuttle left at 6:45 pm! Christ! So we run across the airport looking for a taxi – which we found rather fast. We asked the driver if he can take us to Frankfurt Hahn – again a puzzled look but he says sure, it is 100 km away and it will take about an hour if we drive fast. Panic sets in! Taxi sets off like a rocket but not for long since we hit every single red light there is. Finally at 7:05 pm we get on the autobahn and we are flying. About 20 min into the drive we pass the shuttle bus which we missed by about 7 min. It turns out to be our lucky day because the shuttle takes almost 2 hours for this trip as it makes stops along the way. We get to the airport with 30 min to spare. We run to the far end of the airport to get our boarding passes stamped then back to the other side for security check.

It takes about 10 min to get through security because none of our liquids are in ziplock bags. We ask Evelina to dig out her gummy bears and dump them so that we can use the bag for our toiletries. The security guards stand horrified as Evelina is about to dump her gummy bears! They yell at her to stop and they start scrambling around looking for a bag to give us and save the bears. Finally we make it through! We run to our gate as we hear the announcement that boarding gates will close in 5 min. One more check point for boarding passes again and passports. The local police officer is confused about our April 2013 entry stamp in our Canadian passport and starts quizzing us about residence card – which we don’t have of course. However, we do have a couple of other documents which prove equally as useless and annoy him even more.

At this point a second police officer shows up and we are getting ready for deportation back to Canada! We pull out our Polish passports, which I was not going to bother bringing, and they simply wave as through. It is now 8:20 pm – luckily the flight is late.

We walk out onto the tarmac to board the plane, we start to breathe again – we made it but only just.

Multiple heart attacks, near deportation and a € 188.00 taxi ride later we are ready to get on the plane for a relaxing holiday. Give me strength!